Q&A: My kids fight all the time- What can I do?



Question: I have 4 kids- ages 8, 7, 6, and 5. The 7 and 5 year old are constantly fighting, butting heads. I just don’t know what to do. Can you help?~ Charity

Answer: Charity, We have found Scripture to be the ONLY thing that addressed the negative behaviors we saw in our children. We had our kids learn Scripture verses according to whatever they happened to be struggling with at the time. For instance, maybe it was whining, or arguing, getting angry, speaking unkindly, etc.

The first step is for them to learn the Scripture in their minds so they can repeat it. Then we talk about it. We constantly (it seems) remind them of the Word, and eventually it makes it’s way down to their hearts where it begins to change the way they live their lives.

Different kids seem to have struggles unique to them that are really hard for them to get victory over, but God’s Word is life changing; God promises us it never returns void. We’ve seen it begin to change our own thinking and our kids thinking so that we start to exchange our thoughts for God’s thoughts. It’s not a quick, one-time process, but God’s truth changes lives.

It does help to intentionally teach them about character, as well, which is basically just the attributes of God.

They can’t seek to apply what they don’t understand.

As our kids grew up over the years, we actually wrote character studies for them to address those problem areas to help impart God’s wisdom in these areas. We now have turned those studies into books you can use with your kids as well.  Hope you find them helpful and always feel free to ask us specific questions whenever you feel a need to.

Here are some resources that may be of help to you:

Raising Cain without Killing Abel (discusses sibling rivalry)

Character Quality Flashcards (Bible Memorization dealing with obedience, gratefulness, kindness)

If and When Flashcards (Bible Memory and Q&A , teaching your child how to respond scripturally to everyday life situations)

Words of My Mouth (Scripture Memory Flashcards dealing specifically with the way we use our words)

More Scripture Memory Flashcards

Crossroads of Character– Stories kids love about kids just like them. teaches your child 12 basic character qualities, vital to your child`s understanding of how to make wise choices in their everyday lives.

Character Trails Book– (or curriculum) More stories kids love about kids just like them. Teaches the essential character qualities of attentiveness, boldness, decisiveness, joyfulness, flexibility, availability, generosity, courage, orderliness, endurance, thoroughness, and compassion.


Growing in Wisdom – Bible Study for ages 8-13- Teachers kids how to choose Self Control instead of Anger,  Love Instead of Tattling,  Kindness instead of Unkindness, Diligence instead of Laziness,  Cheerfulness instead of Complaining and many more.

Kids of Character– Bible Study for ages 7-10. Teaches children about 45 character qualities, based on God’s Word.

Character/Bible Study Workbooks

“If’s”– A Game of Character and Choice. I posted about this little game, here

Latest posts by Marilyn (see all)

About Marilyn

Marilyn is wife to Rick, Mom to 14 children, Nana to 22 grandchildren (and counting!) and homeschooler for 37 years. She and her husband own Character Concepts which they started for the purpose of helping others raise children with a strong, godly character and Biblical worldview.They have developed character curriculum from preschool through high school, based on what they found worked when teaching their own 14 children over the years. Her passion is to help young moms raise kids of character and enjoy the journey!

One Reply to “Q&A: My kids fight all the time- What can I do?”

  1. Hi. I have three teenage boys 14,14, and 16all with their own personalities of course. What would you suggest to start with for teaching them about sibling relationships, fighting… I love the books I see on your sight but seem too young. Any advice would be appreciated!

    Thank you,
    Dana MacKenzie

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.