Why We Chose To Keep Our Kids in Church With Us & How We Trained Them to Do So

Through the years, we‘ve chosen to keep our children in church with us rather than sending them off to age- graded groups. It’s a decision we can say we‘ve been glad we made and stuck by even though others often misunderstood our intentions.
We felt it was important for our children to be together as a family while we worshiped the Lord. We found that they absorbed a lot more from being in the adult service than we ever expected, even as very young children.
We always saw the family as the primary place for spiritual training, and as such, was the place we chose to teach our children Scripture memory, doctrine and character building, instead of delegating that task to children’s programs. We would gear their memory verses to character needs we saw in their own lives as individuals.

So, the question has been asked of us, “How did you train your kids to sit still in church? Are they just naturally cooperative?” Training is the key and, no, they weren’t naturally cooperative! They were all different, just like your kids are. Funny, but often the most squirmy, active children would actually fall asleep if you could get them to be still for 5 minutes.
We began “playing church” at home. We had training sessions where we sat the kids on the sofa and pretended to be in church. Sometimes one of the kids would be the song leader or the pastor, but our goal was to prepare them in advance for how to act properly in that situation. Little ones need to learn that they can sit still for an extended period of time. We would begin by having them sit perfectly still for short amounts of time, 1-2 minutes and reward them, gradually working up to longer periods of stillness. For some kids, you have to show them they can actually do it!!
We provided “quiet time” activities for them to use during church time. The Busy Bible was one of our very favorites as they were learning Bible stories as well as staying busy, quietly. If one of pieces dropped, it made no noise!! We gave each a special “church bag” filled with these activities and a quiet snack – although we tried to have them just plain sit still some of the time for each service and listen to the pastor. It was great when, as would often happen, one of them would whisper, “Mommy, he just said one of my verses!”
Our daughter-in-law Dusty has Luke ask the pastor each week what his text will be for the following week. She then reads it to Luke during the week and sometimes makes visuals.  Luke used to not enjoy being in church, but this made him look forward to hearing the pastor read verses he was familiar with.
As our children grew older, we sometimes had them take notes from the sermon. Give them their own journal for note-taking.
We don’t regret our decision to train our children in this manner. I think it has given them a more serious regard for things of the Lord to be in church with the adults.

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About Marilyn

Marilyn is wife to Rick, Mom to 14 children, Nana to 22 grandchildren (and counting!) and homeschooler for 37 years. She and her husband own Character Concepts which they started for the purpose of helping others raise children with a strong, godly character and Biblical worldview.They have developed character curriculum from preschool through high school, based on what they found worked when teaching their own 14 children over the years. Her passion is to help young moms raise kids of character and enjoy the journey!

One Reply to “Why We Chose To Keep Our Kids in Church With Us & How We Trained Them to Do So”

  1. Thank you for encouraging parents in this way. We wouldn’t trade the moments together at church with our kiddos for anything. We once went to a church where our daughter was (nearly?) the only child in the service. Each week, choir members told us of how much they enjoyed watching us worship together and how our daughter knew all the lyrics to the songs and hymns. She was such an encouragement to everyone. Needless to say, she was a super encouragement to us when after she started to learn to read, she too could read along with the songs and surprise herself in her ability to join in beyond the typically “already known” verse one. When the preacher would Providentially refer to or preach on the SAME things we’d been talking about in Bible Time at home, I would just rejoice. WOW. Only God could and would orchestrate such blessings for us all.

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