Thanks, Mom and Dad (a note from our son)

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Moms and Dads- do you ever find yourself wondering if you are doing anything right as a parent?  Have you ever wondered if your kids would ever understand WHY you made certain choices and if they would ever appreciate the sacrifices you have made?

Those are common thoughts and feelings that we experience as parents in our weary times. Life is hard, isn’t it? Parenting is not easy. Relationships are not always want we want them to be.

No, we don’t parent to have our children agree with what we do. And we don’t parent with the expectation of appreciation. But sometimes, we long for that encouraging word, don’t we?

Recently, our sons Tim and Nate wrote two loving, grateful posts on facebook for me and Rick. I’ve posted these not to brag about our sons or to say “look at us, we did it all right!” Because we certainly did not. We relied on God’s help all along the way, and still do! (Guess what? You never quit being a parent, no matter the age of your children! We’re still learning!)

But, I’m sharing these posts with you in hopes that these will offer some encouragement to the mom or dad of young children or teenagers who feel like the journey is just too hard and there is not fruit….yet!

Keep hope, and keep doing the right thing! One day, you will see and reap the fruit.  Galatians 6:9 Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.

(if you missed Nate’s post- here it is)

From Tim (Age: 40)

“Too often we only say nice things about people after they die and we are often the most guilty of this with our own family members.

In a conversation today I was reminded just what fine people my parents are and it made me think to take a moment and just compliment them for the Facebook world to see.

My parents, Rick and Marilyn Boyer, for those of you who do not know, successfully raised 14 children and managed to avoid killing any of us in the process! And all of this while homeschooling, no less!

As I have gotten older and married and have 4 children of my own, I could not have asked for any greater role model than my own parents. Though I am certain I made them angry more than my fair share of the time, I can honestly say I can never remember either of my parents ever once yelling or screaming at any of their kids, and I deserved it more than most!

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Christmas Memories

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This past Christmas, our son Nate posted a lovely tribute to us on Facebook. He shared some of his Christmas memories as a child growing up in a very large family with not much money.

I wanted to share it with you to offer encouragement to the parent who feels like they can’t possibly be doing anything right; to the parent who is struggling financially; to the parent who wonders if their kids will ever realize how much you love them.

Keep doing right. Stay the course. Your kids are watching and observing, even when you don’t realize it!

From Nate: (Age: 39)

Christmas memories: “I’ve been reflecting the past few days on how my parents made Christmas special for us. Our grandparents lived hundreds of miles away and times were very tight when I was little, much tighter than I knew at the time, so Mom and Dad had to make Christmas special for us on their own for the most part.

I was so excited by Christmas as a kid I had very little idea that it was a time of extra financial pressure for them. Or how much Dad felt it and covered it up for our sake. I remember times when he gave us used toys or tools, at least for some of our gifts. I just thought he gave us those things because they were really cool. I had no idea that it was difficult for him to get into the spirit because he was struggling so hard, doing a humble business in the construction trades, doing work that didn’t excite him as a people person, all the while the pressure to feed a growing family weighing upon him.

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Where are the Cheerleaders?

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where-are-the-cheerleaders
In an airport recently I happened to see the final seconds of a televised basketball game. Because our family doesn’t have TV at home, it isn’t often that I see the mass hysteria that accompanies a close athletic contest. This particular game was a cliffhanger and the crowd was frantic as the seconds ticked off the clock and the buzzer sounded the climax. Then the field house erupted with noise as the clock decided the hard-fought contest. The fans were on their feet screaming, and the cheerleaders were leaping and doing handsprings at the edge of the court.
I remarked to Marilyn later what strange creatures we humans are. Two teams of five men each, selected from the best of the best and prepared by thousands of hours of training, throw an air-filled ball around a gym and through a net hanging from a metal hoop. All the while, thousands look on as though the fate of the world was being decided on the polished hardwood floor in front of them. We do love our play.

 

Eternal Importance 

I have no quarrel with those who like to play. I like to play myself, and when work permits I’m always ready for a good time. Nobody denies that there is time in a Christian’s life for rest and recreation. Still, it seems that we’ve overdone it a bit. Isn’t there something wrong with a society in which professional game-players are worshiped while accomplishments of eternal importance go unnoticed?

Woman and baby girl reading on bed

As a parent advocate, I’d like to see more cheering for parents. I think what moms and dads do is worthy of some applause. In fact, a whole lot of applause. After all, which is more important—throwing balls through hoops or forming little souls who will live forever?  Where are the cheerleaders who do handsprings when a frazzled young mom puts her preferred activity on the back burner for the umpteenth time in a day in order to read a story to a three-year-old child?
Who’s waving the pom-poms for the dad who works long hours at a job that’s not all that much fun, in order to provide a home for his wife and little ones?  Not to deny the hard work and sacrifice it takes to excel at sports, but what group is more important and less appreciated than parents?

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Finding Quiet Times with God in a Busy Household

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quiet-times-with-god

(Note: I actually wrote this article 6 years ago. So much has changed in that short time. Kids have grown up, and moved out. More grand babies have been born. Rick’s work schedule has changed. But, I thought it might be more helpful for you to still hear it this way- the way that life was for me when I wrote it-  rather than tell you what it’s like now with only 3 kids still at home, and only 1 still homeschooling.  Seasons change so quickly. If you feel overwhelmed at the season you are in now, hang on. A few years bring with them many changes.)

I dream of a capacious house full of rooms and lots of storage places. Central in that dream is my “quiet room”- a room with thick insulation and a skylight under which is a big comfy recliner just waiting for me to plunk down in it and read my Bible, pray and meditate, uninterrupted. As I look up through the skylight, I view the puffy cumulus clouds drifting by in the midst of a beautiful blue sky- a perfect scenario for meditating on the riches of God’s inexhaustible Word. Nearby is my bookcase, full of study books and concordances and a spacious desk on which I can leave my books spread out when not in use and ready to pick up again where I left off.

That’s my dream, but it’s not a reality-not in this season of my life! I’m a mom of 14 blessings… yes, blessings! I wouldn’t trade any one of them for all the solitude in the world, but I must confess, there are times I would like to experience, as the song goes “Blessed Quietness”! It happens only at very unusual times in my bustling household-like maybe after 11pm or midnight???

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Making the Most of Our Time

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making the most of our time

this is re-posted from our 2010 archives…..

I love the verse, “Teach us to number our days that we may present to Thee a heart of wisdom”. (Psalm 90:12)

I’m sharing with you something the Lord has been impressing on me recently. I am a person who lives by my lists. I write down things I need to get accomplished each day and delight in crossing items off my list as I complete the tasks.

Contemplating the end of summer drawing near, I was struck with how I don’t feel ready for it to end. There is so much I wanted to do, that I haven’t gotten done due to the busyness of life; things like cleaning and organizing projects, like special days with the grandkids, like fun stuff with Kelley and Kasey- things we don’t seem to get to do during the school year- things like family day trips to historical places, and so on!

And yet, I’ve crossed a lot of things off my list. The Lord seemed to prick my conscience causing me think, “Yes, I’ve crossed a lot off my list, but what have I accomplished for eternity? What really counts? Am I just crossing off items on my list and feeling a false sense of accomplishment or am I making the most of every day and every opportunity to be used of God in the little things?”

For instance, we’ve had a lot of functions this summer- friends showers, weddings, anniversaries, etc. Yes, a lot are crossed off my list, but did I find someone to impact while I attended those things? When at church, did I just sit there or did I find someone to encourage?  Am I just crossing off the lists in my life or am I making a difference in God’s scheme of eternity?

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10 Ways to Encourage Your Kids

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encourage 2

Our time with our kids is so short. Psalm 90:12 says, “So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.”

Purpose to realize that your days with your kids living in your home are numbered. They grow up so fast. Remind yourself of that when the day seems long and hard. Everyone needs encouragement. Be your kids biggest cheerleader!

Here’s some tips to help you focus.

1. Don’t complain.  Proverbs tells us ” A merry heart doeth good like a medicine”. You can actually be a healing balm to your children by maintaining a merry heart. Griping brings discouragement. It surely does to everyone- the griper and those listening. Your cheerfulness will make your kids want to be around you and later listen to what you have to say.

2. Acknowledge their attempts to do well. Yes, I mean their attempts. Maybe they wanted to help you clean up but spilled the lemonade on the floor while carrying it to the kitchen. Oops. It’s just a mistake. Acknowledge their attempt to be helpful. When they find something difficult- maybe long division- and finally get a problem correct, praise them. It’s been a long, hard road, but hey, here is a small success! Encourage them.

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How to Be a Happy Mom

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happy momOne thing that is so hard to endure is to be around a grumpy person.  I cringe and want to get away from them as quickly as possible. As a young Christian I was given a little paperback copy of Proverbs from the Living Bible which was pretty “in” back then for young people. ( I was saved at age 16, married at age 18 and had my first baby on my 20th birthday)

I began reading my “daily Proverb” when my first child was napping. I would ask God to show me which verse He wanted me to focus on that day and I’d write it on an index card and hang it on the refrigerator.One day my verse was Proverbs 15:4. “Gentle words cause life and health; griping brings discouragement.” Wow! I began to contemplate that verse and asked God to help me “live it”.  I began to realize that when I complained it not only discouraged everyone around me, but it discouraged me too! I remember making a conscious decision asking God to help me daily to choose cheerfulness.

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Turning the Hearts of Fathers to Their Children ~ By Rick Boyer

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adviceforfathers

And He shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse” (Malachi 4:6 KJV).

  While the above verse from Malachi warns of a curse, it also gives the preventive measure: a turning of fathers’ hearts to children and of children’s hearts to fathers. This is what I believe is happening in the home education movement, and it is the main reason that I have hope for the future. Goals/Careers If you as a father would turn your heart to your children, you will have to place different Continue reading Turning the Hearts of Fathers to Their Children ~ By Rick Boyer

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